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- The Day After -
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Monday, January 02, 2006
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So today I have to go back to work. I tell myself that my resolution this year is to try and be nice to my fellow human beings. I feel myself getting a little sick this morning. Most likely due to the lack of sleep I've been getting lately. New Year's Eve was why I don't drink. I haven't had a drink since last New Year's Eve. Anywho my parents ( Mom & Stepdad ) saw the completed house this past week. It's really nice now that it's clean and all decorated. It was good to hear my Stepdad say he's proud of me. He really has seen me grow into a better person over the last eleven years. They really can't believe that I'm doing so good. I can't blame them. How long did it take for me to settle down and get my finances together. I have made changes and realize why I am the way I am. I hate to keep going back to my childhood but it really sucked as a kid. I tell myself one baby step at a time. I believe it will be better for me and everyone around me if I stay single for a while. I need to fix me before someone else tries to change me. And everyone I meet thinks they know me better than I know myself. Why must everyone try and change me?
So a little good news. I decided to take the LSAT again in February. Can I call myself a big dummy for canceling my score from October and skipping December's test date altogether. I'm going to have to score high to get into law school in the fall now. Most schools have already filled their fall class by now. I should have had a little faith in myself. I'm sure I would have scored better if I took the test in June after the prep course than taking it now, but I was too scared. It's funny, the one thing in my life that I've always wanted and I'm too scared to fight for it. I also wanted to get out of this state, but I've learned that I kinda like living here. I like a lot of the people I've met in the last year. I've even met some people at my current job that have become amazing friends to me. I've never had a lot of girlfriends. All my friends have been guys. Well let me take that back, all my good friends have been guys. The friends that I still have from over a decade ago are all guys. And boy do they have stories to tell. My wild days in highschool. I was just a screwed up kid who finally broke free from her life of servitude. Living with my Dad was hell. I was 15 when I finally told him I didn't want to live there anymore. I left Tulsa and never looked back. But as I'm finding out now, not looking back didn't keep the pain away. So thank you guys for accepting me with all my flaws. I will not mention names because I've been warned that yesterday's Blog was a little too much for me to have shared with the world. Sweetie, nobody knows I was talking about you accept for those who already knew. You told them yourself, remember? I think you just wanted everyone to call me selfish, and it worked. I had a lot of apologizing to do last night. The world doesn't really know who you are, they only know the random blogger that lives in Oklahoma. You don't even live here, so most of those that I've sent this link to haven't met you yet. And what's up with Jay why does he think that you need him to fight your battles? Well okay so I'm going to spill some more personal stuff. So Jay called me last night to say how much of a big B I was for my behavior that morning. If he hadn't been such a good guy to me over the years, I'd of told him were he could stick his opinion. I could say that maybe he needs to worry about his own life and not mine, but I know he means well.
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