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- New Year...Yipee -
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
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Okay so I spent New Year's Eve with an old friend of mine. One in which I honestly thought was dead because he hadn't contacted me after Katrina. Yeah he was in MS. and pretty much decided to just let me worry till I was insane. We have this weird relationship. We are "JUST FRIENDS" and I will stress the "Just" part. Well anyway, we go through phases were one of us will like the other and it just complicates our friendship. Well the last time I saw him was the summer of 2004, and it was strange because I think we both liked each other at the same time but were too afraid to act on it. Well now ofcourse, I've been doing my soul searching thing, so when I saw him I could tell he really wanted to give us a chance. Ofcourse nobody really wants to spend New Year's Eve with you unless they really want something to happen, but I love this boy and giving him my drama right now just wouldn't be fair. Besides it would be so long distance. But enough of my digress. Well we went down town and hit up a few clubs and rung in the year in style. I was a little drunk...well a lot drunk...and so goodnight was all I wanted to say. We are still in the car and he proceeds to say something. Well at that moment I just blurted out loud "We are just friends right?" He looked at me like I had just killed his dog or something. And granted those of you who read my post earlier in the week know that I am supposed to be giving this love thing a chance. Well ofcourse not, I like to sabotage my happiness at every chance I get. So he starts to speak again and tells me how we've known each other for twelve years and it's just funny how we never seem to move past just being friends. And he looks at me and says how much he values us just being friends and would never want to jeopardize that, but being friends with me is sometimes a chore. So now I'm sobering up ofcourse. Because he made me mad at that comment. I ask him what he means by it being a chore? And he tells me that I'm moody (okay so that's true) and I say hurtful things without even thinking about the consequences or the other person's feelings (okay so maybe there is some truth to that too). So he gives me a hug goodnight and I say to him that I was sorry for cutting him off. I knew he wanted to say something else, but didn't. I know he will still be my friend for the rest of my life Because he knows the type of person I am and will move past this night but I can't help but wonder what he might have said if I hadn't been such a dummy. I do love him. I did it for his own good. He's way too good for me anyway.
Well he called me this morning and told me that he loved me and would always be my friend. He let me know that one day I will get my issues resolved and realize that not every man is out there to screw with my mind. He will always be here for me Because that's what friends do for each other. So I really feel better now. His words hit home and I know I will see him again in a few months and at that point we will see if we are both still interested.
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2 Comments:
It was nice of him to let you know the he wasn't dead. I call people up all the time just to tell them I'm still alive... unfortunately they become aggrivated by me so they tell me to "drop dead"... how ironic.
You said you found my blog on another friends blog? Can I ask whom?
You left a comment on a girl named Amy's site. She's more of an aquaintance than a friend, but I call everyone a friend. I read her blog sometimes.
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